māmā.aloha.ʻāina

For as long as I’ve been a mother, I’ve always juggled school and/or work at the same time. Especially in light of the changes occuring due to concerns around COVID-19, the coronavirus, here are my tips on how to work from home with keiki too.

I’d also like to add that I’m a mother a four, and most recently, my husband has also been working for home. We are an ʻohana of 6 living in a 2 bedroom apartment. There is no separate room for an office. I’m a nerd when it comes to learning new ways to be productive, how to be more efficient, and getting work done more quickly. With my kuleana as a māmā, personal goals, and work, efficiency is a necessary for my life. I’ve also shared in a prior blog post when I was reading the book, Essentialism.

I definitely don’t have it all figured out, but I have been successful in completing assignments and work on-time , if not ahead of the due date.

Tip #1: Be flexible. You can plan your day to the “T,” and then something comes up that requires a change of plans. And I’m the planner-type! When you’re working from home with keiki in tow, unplanned things coming up happens more often than not. This doesn’t mean not to have a plan, but more so be prepared for plans to change.

Additionally, be flexible in the sense that you don’t (unless otherwise required) need to stick to your normal office hours. More on this in Tip #3 below, but perhaps this means breaking up your work hours so that you can get a couple of hours of work in when the kids are napping.

Tip #2: Communicate your needs and where/when you need support. Communicating your needs and asking for help is a common recommendation for parents and those working from home, but it’s also often overlooked. Communication is so important and can make all the difference! Communicate your needs to your partner, those in your village, and also your keiki.

Tip #3: Plan your day strategically. When you are planning your day, this will typically include appointments/meetings, and also tasks to be completed. Depending on how much time or you will need to complete a task, be sure to schedule when you will do that task that reflects the time and energy required. As an example, if there’s a task that requires you to be super sharp and will likely take a couple of hours, be sure to schedule this first thing in the morning (as opposed to when we typically have less energy at night). Similarly, prioritize your tasks or work to ensure you expend your energy where it will get you closer to your goals.

Planning your day strategically also includes planning activities or time with your keiki. Scheduling dedicated time to do activities, homework, or just giving you their attention will tend to help when it comes time for you to do your work. There are a variety of ways to do this—this may look like assigning your keiki to do something while you work on something, or possibly you and your keiki doing something together for a period of time.

Tip #4: Don’t forget about self-care. Especially when working from the home while also caring for keiki, it doesn’t take long until you feel like you’re working 24/7…because you are. So even more so, it is important to prioritize and schedule self-care regularly.

Tip #5: do what works for YOU! This tip, I’m fairly certain, that this isn’t news to you. But like Tip #2, remembering to check-in with yourself and do what works for you is often undervalued. Seriously, this is what it’s all about! If none of these tips work for you, that’s fine! Rock on and do what works for you.

This is a simplified list, but I hope that it may be helpful to you. I’m also always looking to improve and find ways to be more efficient and productive. So please share with me your tips on this topic. Help a māmā out!

I thought I was doing the budgeting thing. But as Maya Angelou said, “do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” So here I am making more of an effort after knowing better to get us to being debt free.

Before going further, I realized in preparing this post that I was hesitant. I was hesitant not because of the discussion around the big dirty word (read: money), but because I was trying to figure out how to share enough to have meaningful discussion while also balancing not sharing too much to protect private information. I also don’t want folks to get distracted on by my numbers. Just because it may LOOK like my rent is cheaper than yours, there is NO COMPARISON. Everybody gets some sort of discount or help some how. The way that I see it, we’re all in this together and looking for that sale on aisle 9 for some bomb dot com chips for taco night.

Let’s go one step further and say that dirty word together. Money. Say it with me! Money! Money money money.

Ok a little bit more on my “how.” How am I getting closer to being debt free? I started implementing The Budget Mom’s (TBM) method in November 2019.

I am sharing this in hopes that you’ll join me on this journey, talk dirty (about money) with me, and I am realizing that this will also be another form of accountability.

Since we started implementing TBM’s method, we’ve been able to save up for annual expenses (like bar dues), have increased our awareness with regards to all things money-related, and have cut our credit card dependency. I can’t really pinpoint to an exact amount or reason, but I also believe that TBM’s method has equipped us with the awareness and tools to be able to stay afloat during the current storm that we are weathering.

Will you join me on this journey to being debt free?

At the turn of the new year, one of the things that I decided I would focus on are my habits. My habits, routines, and thinking about the small, incremental pieces, that will lead up to me accomplishing my bigger goals.

I often get trapped in this cycle of having these big lofty goals, and doing short sprints to get me closer to those goals, but then life takes over and I get discouraged after feeling like I’ve made no progress. My hope is that by focusing on the smaller steps that that will help me remain motivated and not so overwhelmed.

Many experts list the following as key daily habits of successful people:

Wake up early

Exercise

Emphasis on the importance of a morning routine

And these people also (often) have a team working for them.

This whole discussion on key habits of successful people is really fascinating to me…but also another rabbit hole that I get sucked into. Even looking at this list can be daunting. I mean, waking up early?! My kids wake up by 5:30am, so what insane hour should I be getting up at? I also don’t have a team of people working for me.

And sure, similar to eating healthy, it seems more common sense-like to know that these habits are what you SHOULD be doing. But is it sustainable for me? Nope. Ultimately, while these common key habits of successful people is nice, I need to do what works best for me.

One thing that I’ve been getting better at is sitting down regularly (for the past month or so) to plan, journal, and reflect. It hasn’t happened in a daily routine-like manner that I’d prefer. But somehow it’s happening.

I often think back to when I was studying for the bar exam and the discipline it takes to study for the bar exam. As traumatic as that experience was, I also recall being highly productive during that time.

One practice that I did while studying for the bar, that I have been working on bringing back into my daily routine, is sitting down at the end of the day to evaluate how the day went, and carry over things that didn’t get accomplished for the next day.

What are your habits for success?

(I wrote this almost two years ago now, I think.)

There comes a time when I feel the urge that we need to buckle down and tighten things up a bit. This may be with general goals that we need to buckle down on and just get back on track. Then there’s the special kind of case where a pregnant woman prepares for her newborn by ensuring that her older kids are gently nudged along to becoming more prepared for their pending status promotion to big brother or sister.

So as it goes…

There comes a time when a pregnant woman gets shit together. Maybe this is a form of nesting? haha

On a serious note, this is definitely a form of nesting for me. Just as we prepare the physical things, like furniture, clothes, and diapers, we also prepare each person in our ʻohana as we prepare to welcome a newborn. In this season, as we were preparing for pēpē #4’s arrival, summer break was approaching I remember thinking about how the timing will be great to make sure that we are very mākaukau–for pē’s arrival and as my older keiki were transitioning to papa mālaaʻo (kindergarten) and second-year (first full-year) of preschool.

After yeeeeaaaars of looking at other examples on pinterest and the like, I FINALLY got to it and made this “mālama i kou kuleana” (kinda like “chore”) chart.

I made this based on what I thought would work for my keiki: age appropriate, using their pictures, using stickers, and including chores that would benefit us as an ʻohana as a whole. Over time, they got the hang of it and didn’t need to go through the physical steps of putting each item on the chart after completing a task. But then again, there have also fell back into more lazy-like habits of not mālama-ing their kuleana. I think it’s time to reinforce this chart again, but probably an updated version.

The chart is set up so that each keiki completes the task in preparation for school in the morning, and tasks to be done at night before bed. After completing a task, that square is velcroed to the board.

For the next version, I am thinking of creating a rewards chart so that they can earn a sticker if these tasks are completed as they should be. After earning so many stickers, then I am thinking of rewarding them with fun activities or a treat.

How do you prepare for baby? What chores/tasks are your keiki doing?

Can you believe it?!  It is the year 2020.  Wow.  Feels like it’s a Jetson-like surreal parallel universe year that we’re living in.  At the same time, this year feels right.  It feels like great things are to come this year.  This year will be special.

Although there seems to be a universal renewed sense of energy to set goals, resolutions, and to re-commit to all good things at the start of the new year, I think there are additional factors that have played into my heightened sense of renewal at this start of this special 2020 year.  After my Tūtū’s passing at the end of 2019, my world has been forever changed.  Also, my babies are now a bit older now where I feel my brain fog is clearing up even more and Māmā is that much further in getting back her groove.  But it’s a new groove.  An updated groove.

I plan to share my updated goals and dreams in further detail.  But for now, one thing that I am putting more of an effort towards this year is this blog.  If you’ve followed along on this journey for some time now, you likely have seen multiple ebbs and flows, multiple posts, about me trying to figure out how to squeeze more out of the 24 hours in a day.  Similarly, I am re-committing to regularly posting here.  However, unlike before, I have just come to accept that while I like routines and would like to be able to say that I will be posting once a week, that is not likely realistic for me.  Instead, I will aim to post once a week, but some weeks may be more and some may be less.

I hope you will continue on this journey with me and share your story.  If you haven’t already, you can subscribe to my blog by entering your email address in the box on the top right column.

What are your goals this year?

Time seems to keep passing me by, falling like sand through my fingers. With a new year upon us, I feel myself reflecting and re-evaluating with a renewed sense of enthusiasm to reclaim my time, my body, my space, but most of all, my time.

I am typically drawn to processes. How things come to be. Procedures. Relationships. Perhaps this is the advocate in me wanting to ensure fairness and justice. Similarly, I am fascinated in the method in which to go about setting goals, accomplishing goals, and productivitiy as a whole. The defining moment of becoming a mother threw me off the charts into a different algorithm with different indicators for success.

More to the point, here we are again. Months have passed since my last posts. I still long to post more, have more time to do things I want to do, more time for work that I need to do.

My Tūtū passed at the end of last year. No words can fully express how thankful I am to have had so much time with her. Lots more on her to come. But for now, I’ve been doing more reflecting than any other year, I think.

Reflecting can be difficult at times. What I did. What I didn’t do. But reflecting can also be uplifting. Thinking back, it’s easier to remember the fun and joyful times, isn’t it? The dips and lows seem to fade away.

As I continue reflecting and identifying my 2020 (and beyond) goals, there are two things that I have decided on (for now at least):

1) my word for 2020 is: be.

Be.

Just be.

Be me. Be all of me. Be truly me. Be present.

Be.

2) I will focus more on a short-term, likely monthly, basis in identifying smaller goals that will build up to bigger goals. I will focus more on smaller goals and track my progress consistently.

What are your goals? How do you identify goals?