aloha

ʻAuhea ʻoe…

“E kolo ana no ke ēwe i ke ēwe

“The rootlets will creep toward the rootlets.”

“Of the same origin, kinfolk will seek and love each other.”

(Mary Kawena Pukuʻi, p. 39)

Photo Credit: Naleisha (Pelekai-Wai) Lucrisia

Diving deeper, and continuing to re-align, with part of what motivated me to start this blog, something else that I have been wanting to do is to get together with other wāhine, specifically Hawaiian mothers. I envision this group to be open to not only mothers, not only Hawaiian women, but that would be the majority of the group.

My oldest daughter is now six years old, and I still find myself wanting this type of group. More recently, I had an “AHA” moment where I think I found a common thread that could weave this all together.

I am interested in creating a space for Hawaiian moms to get together to discuss their multi-faceted lives, the multiple hats that they juggle, and everything else in between based on a cultural foundation. What cultural practices do you practice? How are we teaching our keiki our cultural practices? How has your cultural practice informed decisions in your career, or your daily life?

No laila, ʻauhea ʻoe e nā mākuahine?

(Therefore, where are these mothers?)

I hope that this space will foster important discussions that touches on many different issues of today, while also (re-)connecting us to our traditions, cultural practices, towards being our best as individuals and as a lāhui.

If you are interested, please send me your email address by commenting on this post. If you would like me to keep your identity private, let me know and I won’t publish your comment so that only I will see it.

A Creative Approach: What can a lawyer do for you?

Related to my previous post on my consulting business, I wanted to do a question and answer-type format post that would hopefully broaden the discussion in thinking more creatively and hopefully make more space for discussion and collaboration for possible solutions that push the envelope with thinking outside of the box.

And seriously, I want to hear from YOU! Comment, email, direct message me. What is your manaʻo? Let me know what you think! How can I serve you and/or your community?

These questions are common questions that I have received when I share about my budding consulting business and bridge that I hope to build to connect various pieces to move towards solutions.

Question: so what kind of consulting do you want to do?

Answer: Ultimately, I want to do consulting in the area of work that improves Native Hawaiian health. Looking at the various social determinants of health, the type of work that I’d like to do can be quite broad. Using my unique background in public health and law, I want to use these skills to improve Native Hawaiian health.

Question: what can a lawyer help a kalo farmer with?

Answer: From water rights to ensuring that they are paying their taxes correctly, there is quite a bit that a lawyer can do to support our kalo farmers and cultural practitioners. Thus far, it is has also been identified that there is an interest in writing a will to ensure that the farmer’s (or cultural practitioners alike) legacy is secured.

Question: preventative law? What is that?

Answer: my background in public health lends itself to be a compatible partner with law. Just as within a health context there is discussion of preventative health, I aim to practice preventative law. I do not see myself as a the type of attorney that is in court fighting cases. Instead, my goal is support resolution of potential issues before they reach the last resort of being battled out in the courtroom.

Question: so what about medical malpractice claims? Are you wanting to help people who got hurt working on the job?

Answer: No, I don’t anticipate doing much work in this area. Health is different than medicine. My goal is to improve Native Hawaiian health by lifting up and supporting many people and organizations already doing this type of work.

Question: have you done consulting work before?

Answer: Yes 🙂

Questions: so you’re interested in policy?

Answer: Yes, but I also recognize the importance of ensuring that policies are informed from the ground up. Communities have the answers and solutions. I see my role as ensuring that their voices are heard and represented at all levels, from an individual to a community to the policy/governmental level.

How can I serve you and your community?

This logo was created with the help from my friend and former colleague, Randy Compton.

For over a year now, I have been working on this special project that has blossomed into an exciting opportunity for me to apply my strengths to serve my community.  I feel so fortunate and thankful to have had the experiences and opportunities that have brought me this far, and for the opportunity to dream.  How magical it is for me to culminate my prior work and educational experiences to be able to give back to those that have invested in me.

With the support of my ʻohana, prior employers, and colleagues,  I am honored to share that I have been in the process of building a consulting business.  My ultimate goal is to improve Native Hawaiian health through ʻāina justice and advocacy.  My vision is built upon my prior educational and work experiences.  Using my unique educational background in public health and law, I plan to lift up voices of cultural practitioners so that policies support, encourage, and add power to those actually doing the work on the ground.  It is important to me to not only serve individuals, but also at the community and policy levels as I know that change is needed at all levels.  Simultaneously, it is important that we not lose sight of the impacts of policies to a farmer or lomilomi practitioner.

I certainly don’t have all of the answers, but I know that I it has been over 30 years since the enactment of the Native Hawaiian Health Care Improvement Act.  But yet Native Hawaiians continue to experience health disparities.  I hope to provide a unique perspective at the intersection of public health and law.

What this kind of work looks like varies based on the different client I may be working with.  A client may be an individual, a farmer, a cultural practitioner, or another consultant who I work with on a project.  Similarly, the needs of this type of individual client varies.  As an example, as this has already been identified and echoed, individuals are wanting assistance with setting up their business.  This is something that I could help with.

At the community level, I envision working with existing organizations that are already doing important work that touches Native Hawaiian social determinants of health–education, culture, health, just to name a few.  Commonly, it has been identified that there is no shortage of work that needs to be done.  However, there is often a shortage on personnel or capacity to complete a project or projects that an organization would like to do.  This is something that I could help with.

And lastly at the policy or governmental level, I see my role as being able to ensure that policymakers are well-informed and have a clear understanding of who their policies impact.  This is something that I can help with based on my experience with individual and community-level clients.

I am continuing to learn new things everyday as things continue to evolve.  This is critical to my success to be sure to provide and best serve my community.  With that said, how can I serve you or your community?

Have something that you need help with?  Have a project that you need done, but don’t have the personnel in-house?  Message me here and let’s get to work!

Birth Story: Pēpē #4

Pēpē #4 (“#4”) is three months now, and in short, we are still adjusting but doing great.  Number 4’s due date was July 18.  There was a lot of excitement as baby’s due date approached with many guesses that baby would come early.  I remember my Braxton Hicks getting pretty intense at times, and sometimes it felt as if there was a regular pattern around dinner time.

But in my mind, in consideration of how accurate my due dates have been in the past–my second child was born on her due date and my third child was born 2.5 hours after his due date–I thought that baby was either going to come on the due date or after.  Although I thought this, I also felt more and more uncomfortable as our due date approached.  I remember feeling the need to stay close to home, not stay out too long, and the importance of resting up as much as possible before baby was born.

Similar to all of my babies’ births so far, #4 came during the night.  In preparation for #4’s birth, and reflecting on our last birth with Pēpē #3, we wanted to make sure that we would be able to get the tub set up quickly.  Lightning speed quick.  I remember telling my husband that he better do some drills, or what ever he needs to do, in order to make sure that the tub is ready this time.

On the days leading up to baby’s birth, this time it felt different than this period of waiting before the births of my other babies.  For the first time, I wasn’t too anxious or focused on getting everything ready.  Things were ready…enough, I guess you could say.  I felt very relaxed and happy just doing nothing.  I would drop off the kids at school/daycare, then go and enjoy nature at the park.  It was wonderful.

The night before baby was born, a dear friend texted me in a way to subtly let me know that baby would be born that night.  I felt ready.  Despite having birthed babies more than once at this point, I still feel as if it’s the first time in many ways.  But like with every preparation for birth, we prepare as much as we can.  Getting ready in every aspect:  physically, mentally, emotionally.

In anticipation for baby’s arrival, I knew for sure that I needed to get to bed as early as possible.  I remember sleeping lightly.  It was probably partially excitement, and partially nervousness.  While half-sleeping, I remember feeling some Braxton Hicks and doing my best to not focus on it too much.  Then my water broke.

Pop!  I remember thinking, “did my water just break?  Nah…just go back to sleep.  Oh wait, I think my water broke.”  Then I stood up, and sure enough, my water broke.

Noticing the pattern of my prior births, I went to the bathroom to wipe up and immediately told my husband that it was time.  I think it’s when my water breaks that that turns a switch in my mind and it’s “all business” so to say.  “Business” in terms of being disciplined and doing what we prepared and practiced with regards to tools and pacing that I know works for me while laboring and preparing for baby’s transition to Earthside.

Unlike our last birth, my mom came to pick up my older kids and got to our place relatively quickly.  I remember hearing her voice and her asking my husband a bunch of questions while I was laboring in our bedroom.  I closed our bedroom door so that I was better able to focus on remaining relaxed and breathing.

Before we knew it, the contractions were intense and it felt like it was time.

Oh wait, did I mention that my midwife didn’t arrive yet?  Haha  Oh yeah, minor detail.  (Half serious.)

I went to the bathroom, and I was ready to get in the tub.  All of my husband’s drills and training paid off:  the tub was ready!  At this point, I didn’t know how dilated I was.  All I knew is that the contractions were intense and I figured that if it was too early and if my contractions “stalled”, then I would just get back out of the tub.  If anything, I would just get in the tub for a breather then get out if I needed to.

After getting in the tub, and I will never forget this, my husband asked me, “do you want me to check how dilated you are?”  At the time I was thinking, “WTH!  Um….wait, did our midwife tell my husband to ask me that?”  I told my husband, nah.  Even ’til this day, I trip out thinking about how my husband asked me this; he gettum 😉

The water is so helpful to me, but I also remember feeling so much pressure still.

Our midwife’s assistant arrives, and I remember thinking to myself, “ok, baby is going to come now.”

Then it happened.

Without any thought or conscious effort, this force and wave of energy seemed to push thru me to bring baby forth.  In.One.Push.  In one push, baby went from inside of me to outside of me.  Baby hung out with head exposed until the next wave of energy came to being completely exposed.

I embraced baby and brought baby to my chest.  This moment is like no other.  Time stands still.  Everyone and everything else in the room seems to fade away.  All the pain and what ever brought us to this point fades away.

It wasn’t until minutes after holding baby on my chest did we realize to check if baby is a girl or boy.  Itʻs a GIRL!!!  Healthy.

If I had describe this birth in one word, it would be “peaceful.”  Even with baby’s speedy transition, two hours from the time my water broke ʻtil the time she was born, I felt very much at peace.

We are filled with so much aloha and so thankful.  In awe and giving thanks.

 

Changing My Perspective: Mahalo Mahalo Mahalo!

This is still a work-in-progress, and I think it will be a constant process for me, but it has been a reoccurring theme in my life of being sure to mahalo i ka mea i loaʻa (to be thankful for what we have).  It’s usually easier, or my first instinct, many times to think of, “oh but what I really wanted was this,” or “ugh, we still don’t have that,” or “if this would just happen then all of our problems would be solved.”

This process has been ironic for me as I would say I’m usually a positive, optimistic, half glass full-type of person.  It has taken some time for me to realize the effects of my negative, deficit thoughts, and how it’s easy to get caught in this downward spiral.

When I stop myself in these negative thoughts, and change it to a positive, I already feel the positive effects in my life even though nothing may have actually changed (except for my perspective).

To further this practice, I usually try to take a moment during the day–for me, usually first thing in the morning and/or at night before fall asleep–to take a moment to pause and think about all that I am thankful for.

How do you practice gratitude?

Necessity Beget Puʻipuʻi

As the saying goes, “necessity is the mother of innovation.”  For many years, I had all these dreams and aspirations of sewing this, that, and the other.  I would go to craft fairs and not buy many things because I would tell myself, “psh…I can make that.”  In all seriousness, the only thing that I had previously sewn was the veil for our wedding.  Nevertheless, after many years of having my mom’s sewing machine, losing the pedal to the sewing machine, getting rid of the sewing machine, accidentally buying an embroidery machine thinking it was a duo sewing/embroidery machine, I finally got my hands on a sewing machine.

But it wasn’t until a couple years of having my sewing machine did I finally put it to use.  There was always something else that I felt should take priority.  At one point it was that I didn’t want to get distracted as I was in law school.  After law school, I took the bar…multiple times.  Even while taking the bar, I didn’t want to open my sewing machine for fear of getting distracted.

Long story shorter, the time has finally come.

Interestingly, the timing may be just right as this “extra” (not really extra, it’s more so needed) income is coming just in time to support my ʻohana as our ʻohana continues to grow.  Puʻipuʻi, my sewing creations that captures the youthful essence in everyday aloha wear has been born.

 

I am so thankful to have this creative outlet, for the warm support by many, and to be able to help a little with supporting my ʻohana financially.

There is so much more that I could say about Puʻipuʻi–how I chose this name, why I am doing this, how much I enjoy it–but I’ll share those in a separate post.

If you’re not already following us, follow us on Instagram @puipuihawaii or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/puipuihawaii .

For My Husband: Mahalo and I Love You!

As we prepare for our fourth pēpē (baby), I felt the urge to want to share this.  I think I’m finally able to articulate these feelings, and we’ve some how figured out how to get better at communicating what we need from each other to work as a team.  I know a lot of other moms can relate to this, but I write this for my husband.  Not because he demands an explanation or anything like that, but more so because I know we sometimes hear each other differently when the message is delivered in different forms.  But mainly, I write this as a mahalo to him as well for loving me through these transitions as we build our ʻohana and navigate the constant changes…yet things really being much of the same.

There are just some super powers, which some refer to as a “mother’s instinct,” that I believe wāhine do possess.  Whether it’s knowing how when our keiki are coming down with a cold, or watching out for keiki #2 because you know she’s clumsy, or simply a naʻau (gut) feeling that “x” will happen.  It really is quite crazy sometimes how I can sit up at night thinking about what we are getting prepared for in the coming day and all the possible scenarios that cross my mind of what could go wrong.

All of this may sound pretty crazy, but it’s real.  And I know I am not the only one.

(To my husband:)

So mahalo for loving me through it all, and most of all, your patience.  I know I haven’t been as patient…in fact, I’m usually the opposite:  impatient.  Nothing ever seems fast enough for me.  I will try to be more patient.  But I hope this will help to explain why I’m so impatient.  From my perspective, I had already played this scenario in my mind and anticipated this happening.  Most times I feel like I’m benched during the game–whether I’m sitting and breastfeeding, under limited activity while I’m pregnant, or just plain tired–and I see you playing the game and want to cheer you on.  I know my “cheers” may sound more like orders, so I will work on that too.

I know I don’t always acknowledge or express my gratitude as often as I should, but mahalo for all that you do.  I will work on being better at that too.

MAHALO and I love you.

Ready or Not! 2018

Holy smokes!  Time is flying!!!  It’s been wayyyyy too long since I’ve posted, but I’m happy to be back!

This year has been a whirlwind so far.  How has it been for you?

I think it was last week (yes, the beginning of April), when I FINALLY cracked up and actually wrote something in my Passion Planner.  Geesh!

With about a quarter of the year gone, how are you progressing towards reaching your goals?

Not sure if you’ve heard but I’m pregnant!  We’re rocking and rolling as an ʻohana of five right now, and will welcome pēpē #4 this summer.  So some plans have changed, and some are still the same 😉  I’m learning to just roll with it.

Am I the only one that feels like this year is flying by?

2017 Reflections

As 2017 is coming to a close, I am excited for the start of a new year, and also reflecting on all that has transpired over the year.  Quite honestly, as it seems that these are shared feelings with many people I know, 2017 was…challenging at times, and perhaps we could call it a “building” year.  But yet, I remember conscious efforts that I have made and continue to do to remind myself how much has really gone on this year.  For one, we had a baby!  To further mahalo all of the experiences had in 2017, these next upcoming posts will highlight some of the lessons that I seem to have been a strong theme for me throughout the year.

A lesson that I continue to struggle with is balance.  Balancing self, family, and the various roles that I play, and the various things we are involved in as an ʻohana.  Reflecting upon this lesson, that I know will be a life-long marathon-type journey, I should also acknowledge that I took the leap and made changes in my life, and effectively impacted my ʻohana, to prioritize what we (my husband and I) felt needed to be prioritized:  our ʻohana.  I left a job that I enjoyed to take care of my baby and ʻohana.  It was a difficult decision as I enjoyed the job that I was at, but also knew that I wanted to be home with my baby and care for my ʻohana.  At the same time, I made this decision in taking the leap to pursue my goal of developing a business that I knew I wanted to pursue but did not yet know how that would take shape.

In the end, as in the end of the year since this is an on-going lesson, I think the lesson is this:  live your life the way you want to live it and share your magic with the world.  There are only 24 hours in a day.  It is too easy to go through life where the days pass you by, you put off doing “x” ’til “when you have time,” or even just struggling day-to-day.  Why spend the majority of your day working a job that isn’t where you want to be, or isn’t your fullest self of what you want to share with the world?  Or perhaps this looks like sticking with your job because of “x,” but hustling outside of work to transition to that THING that makes your heart sing.  Maybe it’s your hobby of doing some kind of craft, maybe it’s exercising, maybe it’s starting a side hustle?  What ever it is, do it.  DO. IT.

As a friend told me, “Dream.  Ok, now dream BIGGER.”  What ever your “it” is, another way to look at it may be to think about what your perfect day would look like.  Does it involve eating breakfast?  Exercising?  Reading a book?  Talking with a friend?  Design your day for your ultimate happiness (and I can almost guarantee your health will improve because of it too!).  What have you got to lose?

What is your magic that you want to share with the world?  What is that “it” piece that is part of your perfect day?  The wise and widely-discussed question (not my words):  What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Esquired!!!

The day has come, as I have been planning and working towards this day for many years.  This passed week, I completed the last step to becoming a licensed attorney in Hawaiʻi.  Together, in front of my ʻohana, friends, former co-workers and employers, I was sworn-in as one of the newest members of the bar.

There are so many thoughts that come to mind as I tell this story.  There’s so much I want to say: where I’ve come from, how much I am really no different than anyone else who thinks that a goal may be unattainable, how difficult it really was to get to this point, advice to those who are still working towards passing the bar, those who are interested in a getting their law degree, how much kuleana I feel as an investment of Pauahi and the lāhui, and sharing what I plan to do next.

At the same time, I just want to soak this all in.  With the support of my ʻohana and friends, I did it!!!

For now, I thought I would share my remarks that I shared after being sworn-in.  Here it is:

Mahalo to my ʻohana, and friends, many of whom are here but also those who couldn’t make it today. Each one of you played a role in getting me here. You recognized something special in me, nurtured and cultivated that to get me here.

I would especially like to thank my mother, Elwen, and my keiki—Kawena, my law school baby, Kawaiola, my bar baby, and Kaʻāinaaloha, the next chapter. A special mahalo to Meghan Leialoha Au, Hanalē Bishop, and their daughter River for all that they do for our ʻohana and the lāhui. They are such an inspiration to me and have provided us with so much nourishment, in every sense of the word. And last, but not least, my dear hula sister and friend, Wendy who’s constant support got me through some of my darkest study days.

We are all here for my swearing-in ceremony, but as we celebrate my success, it is really more of a celebration of our collective efforts that got me here. The best way that I thought I could pay it forward to mahalo you all for all that you have done for me and my ʻohana, is to implement what I’ve learned by serving my community, the lāhui. The most recent iteration of how I plan to pay it forward is manifesting into a business idea of a consulting business. My consulting business will combine my educational (in both public health and law) and work experience.

Keeping this short, wanted to share my vision statement that is still a work-in-progress.

VISION

Our ancestors that discovered Hawaiʻi, the most isolated landmass within the vast Pacific Ocean, sustained a population of over 1 million. Before Hawaiʻi imported upwards of 90% of its goods, Hawaiians were healthy and strong people that were in balance with the natural resources that make Hawaiʻi unique.

I believe the community holds the answers for many of our problems. Supporting Native Hawaiian farmers and cultural practitioners will address many of the ailments that not only Hawaiians experience, but also Hawaiʻi’s general population as a whole. ʻIke kūpuna, ancestral knowledge, is key to returning to a healthy and thriving people. Supporting Native Hawaiian farmers to be able to access land and water needed to sustain their produce will ensure healthy foods for our families. Supporting cultural practitioners by institutionalizing and meeting the high consumer demand for these healing practices will address health disparities in a culturally effective way to achieve improved health outcomes.

The role of a lawyer may not always be obvious when it comes to supporting Native Hawaiian farmers and cultural practitioners, however, I am not your typical lawyer. I see my roles as improving health through ʻāina justice and advocacy. Whether the support a farmer may need is with writing a will to ensure his legacy for his family, access to land and water to ensure his livelihood, or even advocating for policies that are community-informed, that is where I come in.