Wow.  It’s been a whirlwind these passed couple of weeks.  I finally feel like I’m getting my head back on straight again.  Even though I feel like I’m getting back on track, I thought I should blog about this as a reminder that times like these pass.

Note to self:  ebb and flow.

I think it “started” when our babysitter got sick.  Luckily we were able to find a back-up sitter for some days, and my husband and I were able to adjust our work schedules on other days to make it work.  When our babysitter is sick, it feels like it really changes things.  I know some people are able to do things/work with baby in tow, and sometimes I can, but it’s really hard.  There’s the “glamorous” side of this in being able to work from home, be with baby at the same time, but then there’s also the…

• screaming baby while I’m on the phone with my boss,
• staying up late after the kids are sleep to get caught up on work that didn’t get done during the day,
• the house is (still) a mess, and
• EX-HAUS-TION.

And as timing would have, “when it rains, it pours.”  Of course it would be during this time that everyone needs something from you–one wants to breastfeed, another wants your attention, work needs “x” from you, etc.

During this type of craziness, aside from remembering that this time will pass, it’s also important to remember to be kind to yourself.  Sure, the laundry may be piling higher and higher, maybe buying dinner is a big help, but you will be fine.  Everyone will be fine.

So to the readers out there:

Hang in there.  There are some days brighter than others, but the not-so-bright days will pass.  Brighter days are to come.  Ebb and Flow.

Do you have a friend or someone who you can talk to about anything without the fear of being judged?  Who would be the first person that you would tell when you get a crazy new business idea that you want to pursue?  Who would be the first person that you look to for support after a bad day?  These might not be the same person for these different scenarios, but it is important to have these people in your life.  Having a safe space to discuss important topics is a multi-layered issue impacted by societal standards, and in Hawaiʻi, our own local passive-aggressive culture, or even wanting to give reverence to our elders.

Especially in light of the most recent presidential election, I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of a safe space to have important discussions.  Social media is another example of where I’ve seen the need for a safe space to discuss important issues demonstrated.  We all have at least one friend, or family member, who has posted something on social media that was surprising.  Sometimes it feels like you think you know someone, and then they post on social media something that makes you realize that you don’t really know them.

At the same time, I feel like I’ve come into a new space in life where I am comfortable not knowing all the answers, or where I “stand” on a particular issue.  I also feel ok with evolving along the way.  Until I learn something that would change my position or feeling on a particular topic, my current position is based on my due diligence and understanding of a particular topic at this moment in time.

Having a safe space to discuss important issues, in my opinion, is part of a vetting process.  Within this safe space, I would also encourage those that may feel the opposite of what I feel on a particular topic to be part of the discussion.  However, there must be an agreement by all those involved and a level of trust that there be no judgment, and to “fight” the issue, not the person.  Through these types of discussions, people who may not agree on a particular topic going into the discussion can learn from one another about why they feel the way they feel, the information that they’re relying upon to come to the conclusions they’ve reached, and negotiate potential ways to bridge the differences.

Do you have a safe space to talk about topics that matter most to you?  What are the topics that you care about?  Have you ever been shocked by something someone you thought you knew posted on social media/elsewhere?

(Although this blog is a public space, I will not publish your comments if you don’t want me to.  I hope and intend this blog to be a space that readers feel safe to engage.)