Month: September 2016

Tough Lessons Learned on the Battle Field — Justice?

This past week, I assisted a family member with a matter that involved me going to an administrative hearing with this family member.  I won’t give too much details about the situation because (1) I didn’t ask this family member for permission to share, and (2) even if I did ask, I feel that s/he would just say “yes” to be nice.  Instead, I’ll share this more from my perspective.

Up until now, I’ve been working in a very different space as an advocate or soon-to-be attorney.  The space that I have worked we like to call preventive law, similar to preventive health.  Towards the other end of the spectrum, there is what may be more considered as a crisis situation and more of what one typically thinks when they think about what a lawyer does.  I forget the exact percentage, but a very small percentage of cases actually go to trial.

In assisting this family member, this was my first time attending an administrative hearing (let alone “representing” anyone) and this was my first time really stepping outside of the preventive law space.

Helping my family member in this situation resulted in me learning some tough real life lessons in being an advocate or soon-to-be attorney in our justice system.  Here are multiple barriers that I identified through this process:

  1. An individual has to know that they’ve been wronged.
  2. An individual has to know that they have certain rights or that how they were wronged is not allowable under the law.
  3. An individual may likely need assistance to navigate the process in which to achieve justice to correct the wrong.
  4. An individual needs resources (time, money, etc.) to be able to get the assistance needed to navigate the process or to be represented by a professional.
  5. An individual must know how to tell their story, or speak to the various elements under the law that will grant justice for the wrong-doing.
  6. An individual must be able to keep up with all of the demands in following each step of the process while not getting overwhelmed by stress.
  7. Speaking of stress, in trying to pursue a path to justice, the wrong that was doing usually results in consequences.  The consequences are often life-changing so let’s not forget about an individual not being overwhelmed with just trying to survive on top of pursuing his or her case.
  8. I’m sure there are more…

Aside from these barriers, I felt the reality of the matter is common as well (based on what I’ve been told).  It is common for a witness/client to change their story during a court proceeding, despite meeting with the witness/client beforehand to prepare for the proceeding.  I would also bet that the feelings that I am feeling are common among individuals who need to pursue this avenue to achieve justice or budding attorneys.

I was also forced to face my own limitations, or areas I need to improve on.  I prepared many hours before this administrative hearing.  I felt prepared going into the hearing.  However, when it came down to it, I felt stuck between what I thought the facts to be, how the facts were being construed, and figuring out how to ask things in a question form to try to correct the discrepancies between the two while also not being allowed to ask questions for things that were already established.  Let’s think about that for a second.  Stuck.

Ultimately, I felt that the official that oversaw this administrative hearing was fair and asked great questions.  However, this all still feels so UNjust for my family member.

Despite these circumstances, I am more than happy that I was able to help this family member in this matter.  In all realness, if it were not for me, things would have been even that much further away from achieving some form of justice or a decision in favor of my family member.  I know that I will remember this experience forever.  The deep empathy that I’ve had up until now just expanded to a totally different level having gone through this in a more personal nature with my family member.

My Mommy<3

mm2006My Mommy.

Not sure where to start, or where I’m going with this post exactly, but wanted to share.

My mom grew up on the Big Island, and moved to Oahu shortly before I was born.  I am my mom’s only child, and she raised me as a single parent.

I was having a discussion with a friend and he asked me how I think I came to be the person I am today.  My answer:  my mom.  This may sound cliche, but it is real.  Aside from the sacrifices, that shouldn’t be minimized, but there are also forward-thinking things that my high school educated mom poured into me.

The next things that I’m about to share may sound minuscule, but hear me out.

Scenario #1

My mom is the one who will always keep pushing to make sure that Macy’s didn’t charge her the wrong price.  She will be ready with coupon in hand, and shopping on a labor day sale.  And when I say about making sure she didn’t get charge the wrong price, she’s not pushy about it either.  She will make friends with the cashier, ask questions, and next thing you know, we are purchasing “x” at sale price with the coupon plus some added something that I didn’t even know existed to get a steal of a price.

This type of situation modeled multiple things for me.  One:  ask questions.  Two:  make friends.  Three:  how to be frugal/resourceful.  Four:  stretching my mind to think more creatively.

Scenario #2

Often times when I have applied for scholarships or a job, there may be something that doesn’t quite line up according to my particular situation.  For example, perhaps the job would start three weeks prior to what I am looking for.  In situations like these, my mom would always push me to just apply.  She pushes my brain to think about different alternatives to make “x” work.  If this, then that, but if not this, then that.

So, what does all this mean?

I think these have taught me to keep pushing to a deeper meaning of life.  There is definitely more to life than just paying bills.  Sure I may have a degree in “x,” but stretching my mind to use my educational background to do things that I want to do and following that yearning is all about enjoying that journey.

School Shootings, Rape, and Big Corporations’ Disregard for Community Voice — ENOUGH ALREADY!

This post raises a bunch of different issues that may seem unrelated, but I think they are related with regards to what we want our society, our environment, our story to be.

I had the honor of being in Professor Mari Matsuda’s class while I was attending law school.  The class was called, “Organization for Social Change.”  Aside from the formal lessons of the class, I also learned things from Professor Matsuda more on an informal basis (or not necessarily part of the syllabus).

During one of our classes, Professor Matsuda described how it is a shame that we will have to teach our daughters that they cannot trust everyone that they meet.

I don’t think I really understood what Professor Matsuda was describing when she first mentioned it.  But, after further thought, and from my personal experience, what she described continues to have deeper and deeper meaning for me.

On a separate, but related note, there was recently an “potentially armed person” who was at or near the University of Hawaiʻi.  In response to the alert received about this danger, my daughter’s school took necessary precautions and practiced safety protocols to ensure that they would be safe in the event of such an intruder.  After a couple of hours after the alert was sent, the person was apprehended.

I am thankful that the person was caught before anyone was hurt.  I am thankful that my daughter’s school practiced safety protocols.  I am thankful that my daughter’s school knows what to do to be safe.  But at the same time, it is core-shakenly disturbing that this is what we need to teach our keiki nowadays.

And this may seem like a far reach of how the issue of big corporations scooping up natural (limited) resources and disregarding the community’s voice, but for me, it is all the same:  enough already.  No means no.  People over profits.  I don’t want to have to tell my keiki that we cannot drink water because it was diverted to keep the grass green on a golf course.  I don’t want my keiki to live in fear because of new the norm of increasingly more hurricanes every year due to climate change.  I don’t want to have to tell my keiki that profits are more important than people.

That is NOT the society that I want our keiki to live in.  That is NOT the environment that I want our keiki to live in.  That is NOT the story that I want to tell our keiki.

What kind of society do you want for the generations to come?  What kind of environment do you want for our children to live in?

Two Words: Student. Loans. UGH.

Partial vent.  I’m probably preaching to the choir.  But, I felt this should be said (or posted).

Gosh, where do I start?!

My husband and I grew up on the west-side of Oʻahu.  We are the the first college graduates in our family.  Aside from receiving help from our families, and scholarships to achieve our bachelors, and post-graduate degrees, we are still left with over $150,000 (EDIT:) almost $200,000.

In some states, this could buy a house.  In Hawaiʻi, the median price for an ordinary 3-bedroom, 2-bath house is upwards of $700K.

So, sure, my husband and I have achieved our educational goals, we both have jobs.  But, with our student loan debt and our low paying jobs, how are we supposed to save for a down payment for a house?  How are we supposed to pay down our student debt?  How are we supposed to save for our daughters’ college tuition?

But like I said, I am probably preaching to the choir.  I know that we are not the only ones in this type of situation.  While this makes me feel “better” because this is more of the norm, this is not “better” because it is the norm.

Something has GOT to CHANGE!

Stay-at-Home Moms, Working Moms, or Work-from-Home Moms

A mom’s blog post was floating around on social media titled, “Can I Be Honest?  Sometimes, I Get Jealous.”  The post raises the complexities and difficulties in being a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, and being jealous of the other.  There were so many parts of this post that resonated with me.  I was feeling all kinds of feels today when I went with my daughter and her preschool class on a field trip.  It reminded me:  I miss being a stay-at-home mom.

After further reflection, and thinking about my own experience, I also think about when I have worked from home in the past, when I work from home now, and the work from home moms.  I always liked the option of being able to work from home because theoretically it’s the best of both worlds–being able to still bring in an income, but also care for the babies.  While this is a definite perk, it is also very difficult because you end up working around the clock to make up for the time when you weren’t able to finish x, y, or z because you were watching the kids.

While I had feelings today that brought about emotions of how I miss being a stay-at-home mom, I also felt guilty at the same time because I also feel very privileged to even have a job.  So not only are there the feelings of jealousy as the mom describes in her blog post that I mentioned above, but there’s also the infamous mom guilt.

On a more positive note, the big manaʻo in this situation, for me at least, is the ever evolving lesson of living in the moment and being present.  When I have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom, live in that moment.  When I have the opportunity to work, live in that moment.  Each “job” presents its own challenges and different perks, but this phase when our kids are young and raising them is temporary.  They really do grow so fast.