Month: October 2017

Esquired!!!

The day has come, as I have been planning and working towards this day for many years.  This passed week, I completed the last step to becoming a licensed attorney in Hawaiʻi.  Together, in front of my ʻohana, friends, former co-workers and employers, I was sworn-in as one of the newest members of the bar.

There are so many thoughts that come to mind as I tell this story.  There’s so much I want to say: where I’ve come from, how much I am really no different than anyone else who thinks that a goal may be unattainable, how difficult it really was to get to this point, advice to those who are still working towards passing the bar, those who are interested in a getting their law degree, how much kuleana I feel as an investment of Pauahi and the lāhui, and sharing what I plan to do next.

At the same time, I just want to soak this all in.  With the support of my ʻohana and friends, I did it!!!

For now, I thought I would share my remarks that I shared after being sworn-in.  Here it is:

Mahalo to my ʻohana, and friends, many of whom are here but also those who couldn’t make it today. Each one of you played a role in getting me here. You recognized something special in me, nurtured and cultivated that to get me here.

I would especially like to thank my mother, Elwen, and my keiki—Kawena, my law school baby, Kawaiola, my bar baby, and Kaʻāinaaloha, the next chapter. A special mahalo to Meghan Leialoha Au, Hanalē Bishop, and their daughter River for all that they do for our ʻohana and the lāhui. They are such an inspiration to me and have provided us with so much nourishment, in every sense of the word. And last, but not least, my dear hula sister and friend, Wendy who’s constant support got me through some of my darkest study days.

We are all here for my swearing-in ceremony, but as we celebrate my success, it is really more of a celebration of our collective efforts that got me here. The best way that I thought I could pay it forward to mahalo you all for all that you have done for me and my ʻohana, is to implement what I’ve learned by serving my community, the lāhui. The most recent iteration of how I plan to pay it forward is manifesting into a business idea of a consulting business. My consulting business will combine my educational (in both public health and law) and work experience.

Keeping this short, wanted to share my vision statement that is still a work-in-progress.

VISION

Our ancestors that discovered Hawaiʻi, the most isolated landmass within the vast Pacific Ocean, sustained a population of over 1 million. Before Hawaiʻi imported upwards of 90% of its goods, Hawaiians were healthy and strong people that were in balance with the natural resources that make Hawaiʻi unique.

I believe the community holds the answers for many of our problems. Supporting Native Hawaiian farmers and cultural practitioners will address many of the ailments that not only Hawaiians experience, but also Hawaiʻi’s general population as a whole. ʻIke kūpuna, ancestral knowledge, is key to returning to a healthy and thriving people. Supporting Native Hawaiian farmers to be able to access land and water needed to sustain their produce will ensure healthy foods for our families. Supporting cultural practitioners by institutionalizing and meeting the high consumer demand for these healing practices will address health disparities in a culturally effective way to achieve improved health outcomes.

The role of a lawyer may not always be obvious when it comes to supporting Native Hawaiian farmers and cultural practitioners, however, I am not your typical lawyer. I see my roles as improving health through ʻāina justice and advocacy. Whether the support a farmer may need is with writing a will to ensure his legacy for his family, access to land and water to ensure his livelihood, or even advocating for policies that are community-informed, that is where I come in.

Vulnerability Post: Spinning

In case you were wondering, #mombie (mom + zombie) is legit.  Even as a stay/work-at-home-mom, why I am so tired, you ask?  Scary Mommy’s article gives a glimpse at to why moms are so tired even after getting some rest.  I felt some relief to read this article and realized that I am not the only one.  I am not the only one who’s mind is constantly spinning.  What about this, what about that, did I remember to do this, don’t forget to do this later…’round and ’round we go.

Here’s a glimpse of what my mind has been spinning about lately:

  • when will my daughter be potty-trained?
  • what if she’s not potty-trained by the time she’s supposed to start preschool?
  • why is my daughter all about oli and hula at kula (school), but not at papa hula (hula class)?
  • maybe I shouldn’t have scolded her the way I did.
  • maybe I should be more strict.
  • when am I going to get a break?
  • when will baby take to a bottle?
  • did I pay the internet bill?
  • do we have enough funds to pay for “x”?
  • when is that due again?
  • I need to schedule that appointment.
  • why is this house such a mess?
  • why do I bother doing the laundry?  what happens if I stopped doing the laundry?
  • and of course, the daily question:  what’s for dinner?

What has been occupying your mind?  How do you manage this spinning?  Deep breathing?  Exercising?  Writing a list?  Help a māmā out!!!

What if We Put Our Children First?

There are many articles and discussions on the topic of when a parent decides whether to be a stay-at-home-parent.  Especially within the time since I have become a parent, I think it is becoming more common for dads to be the stay-at-home-parent.  It was not until becoming a mom did I realize how difficult it is to have to put your child with a stranger to go back to work.  On top of that, our kids are only young for such a short period of time.  There are many factors that go into deciding whether to be a stay-at-home-parent, but it seems that the articles and discussions on this topic primarily and solely focus on the financial factor.

Before digging in deeper, I want to make it clear that my criticism (if it is viewed as such) is with the larger system itself.  Many other countries provide mothers with one year (or more) of paid leave!  Paid leave!  Also, my view of a stay-at-home-parent is not necessarily one that strictly stays home and solely cares for their children.  A stay-at-home-parent may also be a work-at-home-parent.  I also see all of us, those that decide to go back/continue working and those that decide to be a stay-at-home-parent, as equals.  Going back to work or being a stay-at-home-parent, either of which, is not necessarily the best fit for everyone (obviously).  Each family, each person, has to make this decision for themselves and we are all doing our best.

Through discussions with fellow stay/work-at-home-parents and parents, generally, here are factors that are often considered in whether one parent should stay home to care for the child(ren):

  • the costs of daycare to income ratio,
  • whether the parent that would be the stay-at-home-parent enjoys working,
  • other benefits secured by employment,
  • children’s needs.

What I think these articles fail to acknowledge and include in their discussions is the potential benefits that will result when a mom decides to stay home.  There are benefits for the mom, child(ren), and the family unit as a whole.  These benefits have short-term and long-term effects.

Taking cue from Dr. Ye Nguyen’s prompt on “what if,” I encourage us all to continue to do what ever is best for each individual and that individual’s ʻohana.  Similar to how it was once “radical” to think that a woman would be anything but a housewife, I hope that the the variations of working/part-time work/full-time work/work-at-home-mom or parent/stay-at-home-parent becomes not so radical.  So, what if we put our children first?  What if we were all supported to live our lives however we wanted to without fear of whether we could survive financially on  one income?  What if the financial factor was not a concern in deciding whether to put your children first?  What if the cost of living was actually affordable for a growing family?  What if we didn’t have to worry about x, y, or z in deciding whether to put our children first?  What if society supported moms to go back to work that allowed her to fulfill all of her commitments to her family as well?  What if society supported dads to do the same?  What if?

 

Articles on this topic:

Why I Opted In To ‘The Motherhood Penalty’ At My Job