māmā.aloha.ʻāina

I feel that I’ve reached a point in my life, especially with this year being a milestone birthday year, where I keep asking myself, “who are you?”  Sometimes this kind of question is a great opportunity for (re-)discovery, but it can also be daunting and cause a lot of anxiety.

It’s not that I care a whole lot as to what others may think of me, but I could see how someone could see the things that I am involved with, my interests, what I aspire to be, etc., and think that I am all over the place.  And, in most cases, we are our own worse critic.  But really, I think this really helps define who I am, or who I aspire to be.

I recently drew this diagram and wrote down all the different things or ways that I would identify myself.  Here are some common themes that I noticed that really helped me zone in on re-affirming what I am really passionate about, adding purpose to my life, and ensuring that I prioritize the things that matter most to me.

Themes:

• Advocacy
• Social Justice
• Woman
• Mother
• Kanaka Maoli

Essentially…Māmā.Aloha.ʻĀina.

Simultaneously, a dear friend turned me onto Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic.  It’s been very powerful reading snippets when I can.  The podcast is Magic Lessons indeed!  I’m seeing clearer and clearer visions of the lifestyle that I want to live…a lifestyle that allows me to prioritize family and raise our kids in a nurturing and creative world.

One of the pieces that was discussed on Elizabeth Gilbert’s podcast is that Brene Brown defined creativity as the one unique thing that an individual will contribute to the world that is truly unique.

Thinking about this further, this question continues to be at the forefront of my mind as I continue through my day-to-day work, and in thinking about what I want my future to be.  (Speaking of which, another reason I’m thankful I continue to keep this blog even if I can’t write posts as often as Iʻd like, to have this creative outlet.)

Who are you?  What is your creative, unique gift to the world?

While I was studying for the bar exam earlier this year, I had an epiphany:  I want to become a doula!  I know I tinkered around with the idea for a while, but I think it was at this time that I finally realized that this is a priority for me.

After doing some research, in the traditional sense and also putting out feelers who are more in the know about this, I took one of the first concrete steps in training to be a certified doula by registering for a course.  While I am the beginning stages of my doula training, I feel that my training will never really end as I will continue to learn along the way.

I’m especially looking forward to being part of mom’s (and the ʻohana) lives in the special transitional period that is so magical: when a baby joins us earthside<3

As a little girl, I remember quickly ruling out becoming a lawyer as a potential profession because I didn’t want to take the bar exam.  Even as a young girl I knew early on that the bar exam was a dreadful exam.  I remember wanting to be a teacher, then a nurse, then a pediatrician.  Long story short, attending law school was not in my realm of possibilities until later in life.

Now as a JD/MPH-er, and amongst a handful that I know of (including those that are graduated and soon-to-be graduating) in Hawaiʻi, I feel like it is time to really put my intentions and hopes to paper (or at least in writing).  Who am I?  What can someone do with a JD/MPH?  What’s the specific skill/niche that a JD/MPH educational background provide?

After earning my MPH, and with the next step being law school, many people told me, “oh so you left public health for law?”  Or, “she’s a lawyer now,” as in, not a public health person anymore.  But really, I am passionate about the intersection of both public health and law.

I get excited about addressing Native Hawaiian health by addressing legal issues and I come with a specific perspective because of my JD/MPH background.  It wasn’t until relatively recently where social determinants of health has been catching on as foundationally important to understanding how to address health problems.  And even in my current work, by just mentioning “health” and “law” or “doctors” and “lawyers” in the same sentence, most people automatically think I’m talking about medical malpractice law.

But no, I’m talking about community defined, community-based, community driven and organizing around health harming legal issues that can be addressed at all levels from the ground up.

What does this look like in Hawaiʻi?  To me, I see the possibilities of the JD/MPH combo to be rooted and from a kanaka maoli perspective.  The cultural significance of the creation of the Hawaiian people being born from Hāloa, inherently links the livelihood or health of kanaka to land.  So for me as a JD/MPH-er, protecting our natural resources is ultimately to improve the health of our lāhui.

In other words, he mea māmā aloha ʻāina.

You may have received a handmade card from me in the past.  It’s been a while that I’ve wanted to share my cards more broadly, and I’m happy to say:  Haliʻa Aloha Stationery is born.

With the everyday frequency of emails, or a text to tell someone “Happy Birthday!,” a handwritten card with a personal message on a handmade card sends a different mana and aloha that is not always felt through an email or text.  I can remember, even as a child, it was fun and felt special to write or receive a handwritten note from a friend, family member, or penpal.  Since then, along with the advancements with different technologies, it is time that we re-visit the importance and intentionality with sending a more personalized manaʻo.

Even if not sending a card, I hope we can all make more of an effort to tell a mom that she’s appreciated, mahalo someone for sending you that gift in celebration of your baby’s birth, celebrate each milestone or achievement, or remind someone how much you love them.  Any special occasion, or any reason.

Visit Haliʻa Aloha Stationery on facebook here.  To order Haliʻa Aloha Stationery, email haliaalohastationery@gmail.com.

After attending last Sunday’s Aloha ʻĀina Unity March (“the march”), I started to reflect on my “new” life, especially after my daughter finished her first week of preschool.  I started to think how good life is, even in light of the challenges ahead.

Breastfeeding before the march started.  I think this photo is an expression of me, māmā.aloha.ʻāina. 

Now that my older daughter started preschool, I will get to my plan of studying for the bar exam with more focused and intentional study time.  I know it won’t be all puppies and rainbows, but the march reminded me of why I need to pass the bar.  The march reminded me of how lucky I am to have this time to mālama my kuleana with caring for my keiki, my ʻohana, and doing what I love doing.  While bar studying is not always the most exciting, glamorous, or encouraging, I know that it will get me to where I want to be.

Even if I wasn’t studying for the bar, just caring for my baby also has its ups and downs.  It is rough being a growing baby with so many changes going on in such a short time period!  But yet, I feel so fortunate to live the good life and be home with my daughter, to care for her, and witness all of her firsts.  I know I’ll look back on this time on my life and remember how precious and important it was for me to be right where I am right now.

And in case that wasn’t enough, this post further reminded me of how we are definitely better off than I may think we are at times.  All the items listed in this post are not necessarily true for me, but at least one is.