As we prepare for our fourth pēpē (baby), I felt the urge to want to share this. I think I’m finally able to articulate these feelings, and we’ve some how figured out how to get better at communicating what we need from each other to work as a team. I know a lot of other moms can relate to this, but I write this for my husband. Not because he demands an explanation or anything like that, but more so because I know we sometimes hear each other differently when the message is delivered in different forms. But mainly, I write this as a mahalo to him as well for loving me through these transitions as we build our ʻohana and navigate the constant changes…yet things really being much of the same.
There are just some super powers, which some refer to as a “mother’s instinct,” that I believe wāhine do possess. Whether it’s knowing how when our keiki are coming down with a cold, or watching out for keiki #2 because you know she’s clumsy, or simply a naʻau (gut) feeling that “x” will happen. It really is quite crazy sometimes how I can sit up at night thinking about what we are getting prepared for in the coming day and all the possible scenarios that cross my mind of what could go wrong.
All of this may sound pretty crazy, but it’s real. And I know I am not the only one.
(To my husband:)
So mahalo for loving me through it all, and most of all, your patience. I know I haven’t been as patient…in fact, I’m usually the opposite: impatient. Nothing ever seems fast enough for me. I will try to be more patient. But I hope this will help to explain why I’m so impatient. From my perspective, I had already played this scenario in my mind and anticipated this happening. Most times I feel like I’m benched during the game–whether I’m sitting and breastfeeding, under limited activity while I’m pregnant, or just plain tired–and I see you playing the game and want to cheer you on. I know my “cheers” may sound more like orders, so I will work on that too.
I know I don’t always acknowledge or express my gratitude as often as I should, but mahalo for all that you do. I will work on being better at that too.
MAHALO and I love you.